Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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