We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this will be a night to untag.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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