So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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