Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
