I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
