I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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