she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The Olympian is in my bed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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