me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
