OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
