Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize