My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
