she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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