he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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