Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
