we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
