Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
