he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
