I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
