They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
