I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
