I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
