He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
