There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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