I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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