I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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