I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
