So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
