Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
