I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
tell me about the fingering
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