Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize