Do you still have your period?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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