Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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