Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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