you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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