Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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