so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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