Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
