Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
How's work?
Spinning.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
