I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
