There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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