So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
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I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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