haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
