tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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