I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
