So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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