i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
