the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
