If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
