return my video game
one might say we're banned from that church
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
