why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
