i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
