we have officially lost it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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