I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
