After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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