All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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