Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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