Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
