he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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