it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
