By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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