Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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