It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Enjoy the penises
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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